Fucking pain

I'm done with not sleeping,  drain pain and screwy machine.  Something needs to give.  Last night 2 hours of sleep. Separately. 1 and 1. Not even together.  It's messing with my thoughts and feelings.
When is retirement?
I stopped my machine at the third drain and shut it off. Couldn't take the pain.  Can't do hemo either. Not much of a quality of life.

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