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Aches and pains
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Woke up around 3 last night aching throughout my whole body. Every bone and muscle. Like I ran a marathon. This morning when I got up....nothing. Weird.
I'm done with not sleeping, drain pain and screwy machine. Something needs to give. Last night 2 hours of sleep. Separately. 1 and 1. Not even together. It's messing with my thoughts and feelings. When is retirement? I stopped my machine at the third drain and shut it off. Couldn't take the pain. Can't do hemo either. Not much of a quality of life.
There are actually posts out there about people stopping dialysis to die. Today I can understand why. It use to be I could not understand but now I do. This form of life saving treatment can be hard on the body for some especially the older gen and the young ones. Everyone thinks "Oh this is making you feel better, right?" Go to a dialysis clinic and talk to some of them coming out after treatment. Watch them go in and then come out. I've sat on hemo and watched many go into cardiac arrest while doing dialysis. Scary. I know hemodialysis is so hard on the body that they say it is comparable to running from California to Michigan in 3 hours. It makes the heart work double time. For some it makes them feel better. For others it dehydrates them, overworks the heart, makes them nauseous, and really weak. Turns the brain to a 4th grade brain. I was the latter. This is why I chose to go to Peritoneal dialysis. On top of the pain of 2 15 gauge needles put into my arm. I just co...
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