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Showing posts from April, 2016

Fucking pain

I'm done with not sleeping,  drain pain and screwy machine.  Something needs to give.  Last night 2 hours of sleep. Separately. 1 and 1. Not even together.  It's messing with my thoughts and feelings. When is retirement? I stopped my machine at the third drain and shut it off. Couldn't take the pain.  Can't do hemo either. Not much of a quality of life.

Thoughts

It's funny the feelings that you go through in a day and sometimes you just drift off into the night making it hard to sleep. making it hard to think. it's just feelings and they're all over the place. it's from one memory to another memory and that memory leads to another memory. still its crazy how the brain works. What do you do how do you turn it off? You have the same xiety that just continues because it's like you have to do something. what's going on why aren't you doing something? why are you just sitting there? when are you going to do something other than what you do every single day? do something different, try something different, go somewhere different........ but no you just sit and think. Why? because you live in an area that has nothing to do.

Pain

The pain from draining and filling is about an 8 on the pain scale the past 2 nights.  No sleep. Please someone give me a good working kidney.  #donatekidney